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Aug. 10th, 2007


(no subject)

For some reason I seem to be having a night watching kids movies... I know sad on a Friday night but no money and a presentation to do on Monday.

When I went to the library I picked up Cinderella III - dunno why just did - which turned out not a bad as I thought I was going to be. That is until the last ten minutes where it all got a bit too sweet and sugary.

Now I have been on YouTube watching some Disney and other kids songs videos with multi-lingual dubs.... um that doesn't come across very well so just look at this vid for Hercules - I Won't Say (I'm in Love)In 20 Languages.

But this has got to be my fave .... The Little Mermaid - Poor Unfortunate Souls- In 24 Languages.

In my option Ursula sounds the best in russian.

Links to some more vidsCollapse )

I spend far too much time on YouTube!

Aug. 8th, 2007


I Like The Way you Think

A teacher was helping her students with a math problem. She recited the following story: "There are three birds sitting on a wire. A hunter shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?"

A boy pauses. "None," he replied thoughtfully.

"No, no, no, let's try again," the teacher says patiently. She holds up three fingers.

"There are three birds sitting on a wire. A hunter shoots one," she puts down one finger,

"how many birds are left on the wire?"

"None!" the boy says with authority.

The teacher sighs. "Tell me how you came up with that."

"It's simple," says the boy, "after the gunman shot one bird, he scared the other two away.

Well," she says, "it's not technically correct, but I like the way you think."

"Okay," chimes the boy, "now let me ask you a question. There are three women sitting on a bench eating popsicles. One woman is licking the popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle. Which one is married?" he asked.

The teacher looked at the boy's angelic face and she writhed in agony, turning three shades of red.

"C'mon," the boy said impatiently, "One is licking the popsicle, one is biting and one is sucking. Which one is married?

"well," she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, "the one who's sucking?"
"No," he says with surprise, "the one with the wedding ring on. But I likethe way you think!"

Aug. 4th, 2007


Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea
Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong or write
It shows me strait a weigh
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can putt the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong
Eye have run this poem threw
I am shore your pleas two no
Its let her perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew

Jun. 25th, 2007


Three worst Chinese tortures

Now this is a joke I heard ages ago but just stumbled upon it again today .... and it still makes me laugh.


A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

“I'm lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”
Chinese Farmer said “Certainly, but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”

“Ok,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”

“Well, that's pretty crappy,” he thought. “If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about.”

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”

Mar. 24th, 2007


(no subject)

Where has the time gone...

It is almost 11pm and I seem to have missed the whole day.

ohh well back to watching Chocolat....

Mar. 20th, 2007




snow .... I have snow.

Pitty it will be gone by morning.


Daylight now .... Still snowing

that one didn't turn out so well.

Mar. 19th, 2007


skewed perception

Mar. 18th, 2007

It no work

That so me

This sums up my whole day ... and yes I can see myself still up at 2am to get my work finished.
Tags: ,

So Slow!

I need a new computer!

My pc is ancient I only have one or two programs running (Ok three - internet, messenger and word) and I now everything is running so ruddy slowly.

Ah and looking at my bank balance ain't going to get a new computer anytime soon.... :(

so guess i'll have to just try and save up.... but going to get a laptop next time! Tis better than being stuck at a desk all the time.

Mar. 17th, 2007

It no work

Why can't I get this written

I have spent most of today trying to do more of this ruddy Lit. Review due in ...

*saddening look at the calender*

... just under 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS! For the last hour I have just been typing a few words, re-reading what i've written and then deleting it because its crap.

Giving up for tonight and hopefully i'll do better tomorrow.

NO ... I will do better tomorrow. *walks off muttering about positive thinking*

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